A picture came up in my personal Facebook account from 3 years ago. We're at the beach and we all look so happy and content. It was a wonderful day.
What you can't see in that picture is that behind the camera I was struggling with several anxiety and an exacerbation of PTSD. Earlier in that year I had a knife waved in my face during a patient visit and it woke the beast of my PTSD that I had struggled with 20 years earlier after being raped.
Life isn't always as perfect as Facebook posts make it seem- there are often deep struggles behind the scenes. This picture reminded me of that. It also reminded me that there are moments of bliss even in the middle of a storm. That day I remember sitting by the water watching my kids and my heart stopped racing and I felt calm for the first time in months.
Facebook can make me feel intensely lonely. All the posts of perfect relationships, perfectly put-together children, tidy houses, etc. can make me feel like a big goddamned failure. I have to consistently remind myself that there are more to these lives than their Facebook perfection. Everyone struggles. Everyone. And, no one's life is perfect.
This picture was taken at Cordova Tower on our way to the beach. It somehow perfectly captures that day- a black tower of dread with just a hint of sunshine blooming through. There is hope everywhere.
We all struggle. It's easy to look through Facebook and feel as though you're the only one but it's not true. You are not alone, Love. And, it's going to be okay.
Thanks for being brave enough to share this, it is so refreshing when someone can be honest and real. You are authentic and I enjoy your blog posts and FB page very much,keep doing what you do :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kari! That means so much to me.
DeleteSo true! Social media does not equal reality
ReplyDeleteEven if it isn't Facebook, we tend to only show others the good side of our life.
ReplyDeleteBut I think the struggles we face make us more real to others and definitely likeable!
Your photo is quite meaningful, Mandi!!
jodie
www.jtouchofstyle.com
It is so important and difficult to remember this. I hope you are in a better spot with your PTSD these days.
ReplyDeleteOn Facebook we can be whoever we want to be - which is often very far removed from reality. Comparing ourselves with the perfect people we see on Facebook can be soul-destroying. Best to be avoided, I think. xxxMargaretha
ReplyDeleteFacebook is definitely one dimensional as are many human interactions in society. I've found if you spend more than a few minutes with someone and have real conversations you find the universal truths that bond us together - imperfections and struggles.
ReplyDeleteYes, so true. Facebook tends to be rose tinted. People present the life they want to present. It's important to always remember that.
ReplyDelete