I've never been society's idea of
beautiful. I've always had a propensity to be a bit chubby and have strong
facial features.
When I was a child everyone would see my sister, blonde and
lithe, and them me, chubby and awkward, standing at her side and would compliment her on how pretty she
was. Then, as an afterthought, would compliment me on my intelligence.
I wanted so badly to be pretty. I
spent years dieting, dyeing my hair and trying different makeup techniques to
make my nose appear smaller. However, I could never change the image in the
mirror much.
It wasn't long before I stopped
focusing my energy on my outsides and began trying to refine my insides. I've
spent much of my life focusing all of my time reading, learning, working and
volunteering to make myself, and hopefully the world, better.
My intelligence and kindness have opened many doors for me. As an introvert, I spend many hours inside my head and quietly reading and those hours of thoughts make me continually into a more mindful person. My goals of weight-loss and outer perfection have been replaced with a single boas-- to be a better person with each and every year that passes.
I still struggle with self-worth
and avoid looking at myself in the mirror at times. But, I'm pretty confident about the
person that I am inside-- kind, compassionate, well-read, always learning. I
hope that I continue to grow-- I know that I still have much inner work to do.
So, I guess what I'm saying is
that I'm grateful for not being born physically beautiful. It has made me a
better person. I need to remind myself of this when I scoff at my image in the
mirror.
You were born perfectly and
exactly the way the you were meant to be, Loves. I'm so glad that I was made the way I am and that you were made the way that you are.
Shine your light, the world only has one you.
