You know the ones- Perfect hair, perfect looking kids, works full-time but somehow manages to be the classroom mom, volunteer at various charities across town and cook amazing organic meals from scratch that she uploads to her Pinterest-worthy blog every night.
Hell, I'm tired just typing that.
Well, this week I had an opportunity to talk to two of the moms at my kid's school in the "Perfect mom's club". And, do you know what I realized? They are just as screwed up as I am. Maybe even more so. My screw ups may be ever so apparent in my habitually disheveled appearance, the fact that my house is chronically messy and that I have dressed my youngest daughter up twice this year for picture day ON DAYS THAT WERE NOT PICTURE DAY.
God. I am not rocking this mom gig.
Earlier this week I posted on my Facebook page about my shame around a messy house and then did a Facebook Live about it(going live is uber scary). And, apparently some of these moms read my blog(this is also scary). Some lovely women that I've never spoken to before approached me and wanted to let me to that they, too have messy homes. I was in shock because, frankly, these women- with perfect hair and makeup, stylish clothes and shiny minivans- ARE FLAWED JUST LIKE ME.
*insert audible gasp*
I guess the good news is that the perfecto moms aren't always rocking the perfect mom gig, either. They are just better at not letting it show. I am thankful to these brave mamas for showing me the imperfect lives underneath. It is a lung-filling, heartwarming reminder of the fact that we are all so much more alike than different. A reminder that everything that I worry about is something that so many others are worrying about at the same time. That we all want to be perfect parents but that is not something that could ever be possible for imperfect people in and imperfect world.
So, this is me. The mom with the messy house and the happy kids that feels that she's screwing it all up everyday. I just didn't realize that the Perfect Mom's Club felt that way too- that, as hard as they try, they're screwing this mommy gig completely up.
Color my mind as blown, ya'll.
So, I guess I learned a few lessons this week.
-Things aren't always as they seem.
-We're all imperfect.
-We're all doing the best that we can and that's really all our children care about. That we're trying and we love them.
So, I'm off to drink a glass of wine and celebrate a week of heart-affirming lessons.
*Pours all of a glass and raises her glass for a toast*
Here's to all the Mamas with messy homes and happy kids. May we all be a little kinder to ourselves. We're doing the hardest job in the world, after all.
Haha I was the worst of the children growing up! I never put anything away
ReplyDeleteI imagine I was far from perfect, too!
DeleteThere is no perfect mom period. Never has been never will be.
ReplyDeleteSo very true, Candace.
DeleteYes, yes, yes! I just wrote an instagram post on this yesterday. Don't let the photos or the good hair fool you (and by that I mean me too).We're all perfectly imperfect moms and beings. Thank goodness because how incredibly boring would that be?!
ReplyDeleteCheers! I can drink to imperfection:)
ReplyDeleteCheers, Samantha!
DeleteImperfection is the new perfection! Ha ha
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yessss!
DeleteSo true. Everyone feels they are failing in some respect, and none of us ever know the truth behind what others present to the world.
ReplyDeleteSo very true.
Delete*clink* Taps my wine glass to yours. Now that my kids are mostly grown, I actually miss random Legos strewn across the floor. Love and appreciate this post!
ReplyDeleteIn my case it is a matter of a messy house, spotless stables and happy horses! Margaretha
ReplyDeleteIt is all about perception isn't it? We all see others differently. I'd rather a messy home and happy children any day. I am putting this into practice with my grandson. No more worrying about making sure everything is perfect. Just enjoying life through his eyes and having fun.
ReplyDelete'Hell I'm just tired typing that' cracked me up. If you spend any amount of time with someone you'll break through the facade of perfection. Glad you learned and shared this valuable lesson.
ReplyDeleteHaving a nurse call mothering the hardest job in the world is a great confirmation.
ReplyDelete