Friday, January 20, 2017

Let it Be

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When I was seventeen, I was raped. In the months and years that followed, I was enveloped in a blackness that cannot be described to anyone who has not suffered in the same way. Lost in the symptoms of PTSD, depression and anxiety, I was so desperate that I attempted to take my own life. I am so grateful that I survived and lived on. 

In the months following my suicide attempt, I found many ways to heal and keep my mind focused on the good of life, instead of falling back down the black spiral. One of those ways was by finding music that fed my soul and I found The Beatles during that time. Their song, 'Let it Be' has been a touchstone of mine for many years and is, in fact, my current ringtone on my phone. 


Battling with mental illness and the impact of trauma takes much more than just listening to upbeat music, of course. It has taken years of therapy, medication and many other means of healing. However, when I find myself feeling anxious, scared and unsure of the world at large and can feel myself slipping slowly into the darkness again, I take heart in the words- 

Let it be.
Let it be. 
Yeah, there will be an answer. 
Let it be. 

I am here more than twenty years following my rape and suicide attempts to tell you that there is no place so dark that you cannot find the light again. 

Seek help. 
Seek hope. 
There will be an answer. 
Let it be. 

You can get your own inspirational t-shirt at Cents of Style here
Be sure to use the code INSPIRE17 to get 50% off and get free shipping. (January 20th through January 22nd, 2017 only)

And, please remember-- if you are suffering, seek out help. There are people available 24 hours per day that would love to talk to you if you are struggling. There is no shame in needing help.  I will link up some helpful sites below. The world needs YOU. I am here to tell you that there is joy and love on the other side of your pain. All of my love to you. 

Mandi

RAINN's National Sexual Assault hotline- available for chat online or phone calls 24 hours per day. Go here

The Suicide Prevention Hotline- available for chat online or phone calls 24 hours per day. 
Go here.

Both of the above sites are completely confidential. Someone out there is sitting by their phone or computer just waiting to get the honor of talking to you today if you need help. If you are struggling, I send you so much love.  



3 comments:

  1. Mandi, Thanks so much for this post, your words of encouragement and the links. I lost my beloved brother, who was a beloved and gifted CRNA, 7 years ago to suicide. Oh how I wish I could have locked him in a closet and pushed my love under the door. I know that his decision was thought out (depression, despair and grief), but I know also that he was not able to think at that time how much the loss of him would impact us immeasurably…forever. I just miss him, and hold him close to me in all my thoughts….always missing...

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    1. Oh, Sally- how my heart aches for you and yours. There certainly is a deep, wide hole where he should be. I'm so sorry.

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  2. This is lovely. And I have the same thing with certain songs. I also have other songs that I connect to certain bad times and feelings, which I find make me feel an echo of living back in those times, and therefore rarely listen to now. But I have other songs that I connect instead with making it through.

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